


"We Don't Talk Anymore"

by ayuwazamisaki



Series: Bittersweet [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 16:59:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11627892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayuwazamisaki/pseuds/ayuwazamisaki
Summary: “I completed my side of the deal.”Taiga paused, checking Kuroko with a glance and stepped aside from the pavement to an awning of a grocery store.“What deal?” he asked, cradling his phone in the crook of his neck as he grabbed onto the collar of Kuroko’s shirt to stop him from getting crushed by the Christmas shoppers hurrying to get home before it gets too late.“Can’t tell you yet,” Aomine said, his voice sounding tiny with the Christmas songs being played in the background, “Don’t wanna jinx it.”Taiga frowned, wondering whether he was missing something important. What deal did they make?





	"We Don't Talk Anymore"

We don't talk anymore

We don't talk anymore

We don't talk anymore

Like we used to do

 

Taiga is sitting in the balcony, a mug of cooling coffee cradled in his palm as he watched night fall over the city. Tokyo is lighting up in front of him, giving an unearthly glow to the darkening sky. A shame he couldn’t see the stars here. The city lights are a sight good enough to see though. Red, blue and yellow twinkle in distant buildings and flow in streams on traffic heavy roads. Music from a recent release drifts towards him from the convenience store below and he finds himself tapping his fingers against the side of his mug to the beat.

A cool breeze picks up and he shivers, clad only in a t-shirt and shorts. If he catches a cold, Kuroko would get mad. What did he say the last time Taiga fell ill? Kuroko’s disapproving face appears in his mind’s eye, saying _don’t expect me to always take care of you Kagami-kun._ Taiga scoffs. Impossible, Kuroko is a mother hen when it comes to him.

He leans back against the wall, settling down so that his tailbone isn’t digging into the floor of his balcony. His long legs stretch out in front of him, bare feet still wet from a shower reaching through the railing and further, dangling in midair. It’s as if his feet were fishing rods, poised in position to catch fish in the air.

Silly, he thinks. Kuroko would give him an unimpressed look if he told him that.

In the distance, an ambulance siren blares urgently and a cat starts to yowl from a nearby wall in response to it. Taiga sends a passing thought of _hope you get well soon_ to the unfortunate soul. The cat continues its racket for a few more seconds before someone throws a stone at him and its sound stops with an abrupt squawk.

Hazily, he thinks that he’d like to own a cat. It would get rid of the emptiness in his apartment and his part time job can pay for its food too. He stares ahead, planning vaguely. He’ll have to ask around for a kitten. Maybe Kuroo-san would know.

He brings his luke-warm coffee up and he sips, blinking slowly, laziness settling into his bones.

The siren moves further away until he doesn’t hear it anymore.

 

___

 

We don't love anymore

What was all of it for

Oh, we don't talk anymore,

Like we used to do

 

“I completed my side of the deal.”

Taiga paused, checking Kuroko with a glance and stepped aside from the pavement to an awning of a grocery store.

“What deal?” he asked, cradling his phone in the crook of his neck as he grabbed onto the collar of Kuroko’s shirt to stop him from getting crushed by the Christmas shoppers hurrying to get home before it gets too late.

“Can’t tell you yet,” Aomine said, his voice sounding tiny with the Christmas songs being played in the background, “Don’t wanna jinx it.”

Taiga frowned, wondering whether he was missing something important. _What deal did they make?_

“Is this something related to our one-on-ones?” he asked, pulling Kuroko under his arm for protection. His friend looked funny, bundled up in his scarf, Christmas lights of the store reflecting their colours against the light blue of his hair. Kuroko looked up at him balefully from his side, the words _I don’t need your protection Kagami-kun_ plain across his face _._ Taiga rolled his eyes at him.

“Nah. Something else.” Aomine’s voice sounded vague through the phone and Taiga’s frown deepened. He released Kuroko and dug his index finger into his other ear so that he could mute the noise around him.

“Why are you being so mysterious,” he complained.

“Does it hurt your head?” Aomine sneered and Taiga growled under his breath. Bastard.

“Tch,” Taiga said, “Whatever, I don’t want to hear it, idiot.” Aomine was cackling from the other side of the line and hearing that happy sound, Taiga’s frown eased up.

“Bye Bakagami,” Aomine snorted and Taiga hung up at that, angry at himself for finding his laugh sexy.

They start walking again, with Kuroko giving him searching glances from his side. He wondered whether he could pretend nothing happened and just get their Christmas shopping for the team over and done with but Kuroko was being a nuisance, reversing his misdirection to make it impossible to ignore him.

“What?” he grumbled after a few minutes of Kuroko’s intense presence. Being used to his almost invisibility, it was hard to overlook when Kuroko got like that. Kuroko merely remained silent and feeling pressurized, Taiga sighed.

He bit his lip, glancing at the shorter. Kuroko faced him, patient.

“Aomine is being an idiot,” he stated, fingers unconsciously tightening around the strap of his backpack.

“When is he not?” Kuroko said.

Taiga huffed a laugh at that and said, “He’s being a mysterious idiot.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing important,” he shrugged. “Said he’d tell me later.”

“Odd.”

“Odd, indeed.”

 

___

 

I just heard you found the one, you've been looking

You've been looking for

I wish I would have known that wasn't me

 

_I found myself a girlfriend._

Taiga’s body suddenly went numb. He couldn’t breathe.

His ears were ringing.

_I completed my end of the deal, Kagami._

___

 

Taiga closes the balcony door and draws in the curtains, shuffling into his darkened apartment. It isn’t much, two rooms and bathroom with a shower, and the balcony. He bought it for the balcony. Unattractive stains coloured the walls which he had cleverly covered with a cupboard or two and mismatched furniture were scattered around the apartment. He had managed to grab a ratty couch from a garage sale last month and now he finally had use for the colourful throws his grandmother had gifted him when he visited last summer. One room acted as a living room and kitchen while the other was his bedroom. He had separated the couch area from the kitchen with a curtain and it was equipped with a sink, a pantry and a burner. The barest essentials. Since he had moved to this apartment soon after he was accepted to university, he was on a small budget, the living space being only slightly bigger than the one he used during highschool.

Highschool, huh. The thought brings a twinge of pain in his chest and he hurriedly thinks of dinner, not wanting to go on a spiral of depression on a Sunday night. He shifts through furniture in the dark and reaching the light switch, he flips it on.

He squints at the sudden light in the room and bumps his leg against the table in the process. Rubbing out the pain, he glanced at his phone on the low table, as it rings again. He had been steadily ignoring his phone the whole day today, wanting to keep himself isolated from everyone but it’s 7 in the evening, and he figures he has kept to himself long enough today. He picks it up and unlocks it with a pattern-

[ “Put my birthdate as your passcode”

“Nooo why would I, it’s my phone you dumb asshole”

“Wouldn’t it be nice for you to think of my awesome self every time you unlock your phone?”

“Sh-shut up! Who’d want that hell for themselves? Certainly not me” ]

-and scrolls down the notifications from Kise, Kuroko, Momoi, Sugawara and _Akashi_. He freezes. Da fuck?

He quickly opens the message.

_Taiga, if you keep ignoring Kuroko like this, I’ll be forced to act and you’ll regret it._

_-Received 5.26 pm_

Well shit. His fingers fly over the keyboard in a hurry, really not up to facing Akashi on a night like this. His reply comes a few seconds later.

_Too late._

_-Received 7.48 pm_

Taiga groans.

 

___

 

Akashi Seijuro comes like a quiet storm, eyes crackling with muted impatience, fingers twitching slightly in annoyance and worry set across his mouth.

“What do you think you are doing,” he states as he stood in front of Taiga at the front door. Dressed in a three-piece-suit and a scarf covering his chin, he looks intimidating than ever as he glares at Taiga from under his bangs.

Taiga scratches his head.

“Uh…” He steps aside, allowing Akashi to enter and avoids his eyes as he locks the door behind them.

“I was on a time out,” he says, watching the shorter place his shoes neatly next to Taiga’s ones. Akashi straightens, an eyebrow raised. “Time out? By who? From what?”

“Self-imposed,” he says lamely, “And from the world. Society.”

“Us, you mean. Your friends.”

Akashi’s gaze is too shrewd and Taiga busies himself with setting up the kettle for tea. The other follows him to the kitchen and sits down on a chair. He didn’t bother buying a dining table, opting to  use the couch when necessary and anyway, the small kitchen barely had enough space to move in. With Akashi in the room, it feels smaller today. Taiga sees him loosening his suit, then long fingers tugging the tie at his throat. He was probably here from some important business meeting, probably tired from a long day at work and now he’s here trying to clean up Taiga ‘s mess, Taiga who is still studying, earning barely enough to scrape by, no talent to speak of because he wasn’t careful enough, broken inside and out, pathetic- _pathetic_ excuse for a human being. His hands tremble as he prepares the tea.

“Sorry,” he chokes out into the wall. There is silence behind him. He hears the chair scrape back against the floor and then feels heat against his back.

“What are you apologizing for?”

A hand on his elbow, firmly making him around. Taiga resists at first then sags as the hand travels up his arm and rests on his shoulder. He glances at Akashi’s piercing eyes, the mismatched colours giving him an almost inhuman appearance.

His hand reaches his jaw. “Taiga,” he says simply, the tone firm.

“You-you must be busy,” Taiga starts. “You don’t have time for this- for taking care of me. You don’t have to do this Akashi. Don't waste your time on someone like me,” he ends in a small voice, unable to look at this face.

Strong fingers take hold of his chin and pull his face downwards and forwards until Akashi is glaring at him right in the eye.

“Why do you think I’m wasting my time on you?” he asks imperiously, one of his eyebrows rising with the words ‘wasting’. Taiga bites his lips, feeling uncomfortable at their closeness and the intensity of Akashi. He can feel his eyes starting to prickle with tears and his heart aches so much, too filled with everything he hasn't said about this whole situation and he's almost on the verge of spilling-

He spills. Like a pot of curry that has been boiling for too long that the curry starts to spill over the edges, his words start to spill.

“I- I'm just not worth it, Akashi. I am not as talented as the rest of your- your gang I'm just an outsider that stumbled in and couldn't find a way out I'm just being burden to you guys like I was to Aomine, no wonder he dropped me for someone else, anyone is better than someone like me-”

Taiga tries to stop babbling, to stop giving away so much, to _Akashi_ , perfect man he is.

He doesn't realise he has already teared up, the misery weighing in his chest that suddenly he can't breathe, he can't see, he's panicking oh god-

Hands on his face. “Taiga. Taiga. Breathe.” He focuses on the gentle voice, familiar, and tries to obey, copying the way the other's chest rise and fall under his hands that have somehow found their way to clutching Akashi’s shirt.

He comes back and blinks his eyes open to a blurry Akashi, looking worried.

“Are you okay?” he asks and now Taiga starts to feel embarrassed at himself. What was he thinking? Having a panic attack in front of Akashi, god what is wrong with him.

He nods once, tries to sneakily wipe the corners of his eyes, and steps back.

He doesn't understand how Akashi being this short can make him feel so much smaller.

“Sorry,” he says, once he thinks his voice won't waver.

“Don't apologise.” Taiga flinches at the sharpness and tries not to hunch his shoulders. A beat of silence before Akashi backs away from him. He hears a growl of frustration and looks up to see the shorter tugging at his hair, disappointed.

“Look,” he says, “I don't know how to make you feel better besides ordering you to feel better as soon as possible so I'm going to tell Tetsuya and you are going to talk to him and feel better afterwards, do you understand?”

His eyes glint as they look up at Taiga, who nods. As soon as Akashi’s gone, he'll feel better, he just wants to be alone now why is Akashi being so persistent about this.

“Okay. And just for the record,” and Akashi’s eyes go all soft, “I think you're amazing Taiga. Daiki was a fool.”

Oh.

Akashi leaves soon after with a brief pat on his shoulder, and Taiga is left sitting in his kitchen, watching steam curl up from a single cup of tea.

 

___

'Cause even after all this time I still wonder

Why I can't move on

Just the way you did so easily

 

_I want u to meet her._

_-Received 1.15 pm_

No, Taiga thinks. Fuck no.

_Aomine, no. Maybe in like two years. I don't want to meet her this soon._

_-Sent 1.18 pm._

He considers and sends another message again.

_Pls don't talk about her with me anymore okay. I don't want to hear anything about her from now on._

_-Sent 1.20 pm._

He hopes Aomine will respect his wishes. It's not as if he was that oblivious to not realise Taiga is pretty torn up about this, despite the fact that it was he who struck the deal that if Aomine finds a girlfriend, he'd let go because he loved him more than Aomine liked Taiga back.

_K._

_-Received 1.25 pm._

Taiga switches off his phone, throws himself in the bed and proceeds to take deep breaths in order to not vomit all over his sheets. The ugly feeling of sadness and betrayal doesn't go away even after he tries to breathe through and think happy thoughts. Shit how do people do this? Go through this mess without dying or doing something stupid like call the girlfriendwhostolehisman and curse her for taking Aomine away.

And Aomine is stupid with feelings,  he probably doesn't understand what an uncrossable line he was trying to cross there.

Later, in the evening, he talks to Kise about it to which the blonde says, “Aomine is probably happy that he has a girlfriend now and taking how close you two are, he wants to tell you all about it. The poor guy wants to gloat. I don't think he realises he's hurting you but now that you said so, maybe he does now.”

Taiga finds that understandable considering Aomine’s emotional maturity. It's his fault for falling in love with an idiot.

 

___

I overdosed

Should've known your love was a game

Now I can't get you out of my brain

Oh, it's such a shame

 

He deletes all photos he had in his phone, selfies, candid shots, WhatsApp images Aomine had sent him, erases all memories of him. He lingers over his contact and debates on getting rid of the final link but then decides against it. They’d probably still have to be friends.

Messages he doesn't delete because he'll have to go through them and that's something he'll leave for when he's stronger. For now, this is enough.

He finds himself checking his call logs and noting the frequency and duration of their calls to each other. Doesn't catch himself though because he wants to hurt now. He wants to feel pain if nothing else because he's being numb ever since then.

How long has it been? Two months? Three months? Time doesn't make sense anymore. He works like clockwork, going to uni, studying, waits tables, eats when he remembers to, stares at the ceiling at night and avoiding basketball like plague which is probably why Kuroko throws a fit the next time they meet.

They've both been busy and seeing Kuroko’s face, he knows that his friend is starting to blame himself for leaving Taiga alone the past month.

“I'm fine,” he insists over his burger. He's an adult, he doesn't need someone to look out for him like this, to feel guilty when he doesn't look right. He's fine on his own alright?

He says this out loud and Kuroko’s usually flat expression flits into disapproval. The slam of his milkshake onto the table is just as unexpected as the way his other hand reaches to grab Taiga with his collar.

“Kagami-kun, are you dumb?”

Taiga blinks at Kuroko’s intense gaze because okay what did he do. Besides they are in public and it is so unlike Kuroko to make a scene.

“Do you honestly mean to say you're fine when you look like you haven't slept in a month or eaten well either? You look exhausted.”

Well, that was close to home but Taiga isn't going to admit that.

He puts his palm over Kuroko’s hand and immediately he is released from the shorter’s hold.

“You are better than this,” Kuroko hisses into his palms, looking like it's his fault that Taiga is like this and Taiga , Taiga is done making his friends feel this way.

He stands up. “Stop worrying okay? I'll work this out on my own. I got myself into this mess and I'll come out of it when I feel like it so leave me _alone_!”

His voice had raised to a shout and he's pretty sure everyone is looking over at them so he grabs his phone and shoots out before things get awkward.

He's unlocking the door of his apartment when his phone pings with a text message from Kuroko.

_I'm sorry I messed up. Can I come over?_

_Received_ _5.04 pm._

Taiga feels savage when he types, _No_. Then feeling bad, he sends, _Later_.

 

 ___

 

Taiga almost ends up unfriending Aomine from Facebook when he sees a selfie of him and her. Knowing he’d regret it later he changes Aomine to ‘an acquaintance’ so he won't see him on his newsfeed anymore.

Not that it made much of a difference because Kise can't keep his mouth shut about Aomine when he talks to Taiga. He supposes that them being friends since middle school and being Miracles together, it’s obvious that they would be in touch with each other frequently. Taiga just wishes Kise would stop talking about him when they meet.

Taiga isn’t any better though. On impulse, he would text Aomine at times he felt really miserable and Aomine, that dumb shit, always replies the way he usually does.

He knows that this isn’t healthy, that he had unknowingly made someone else responsible for his happiness and that he is slowly pulling the noose around his neck tighter with every word he exchanges with Aomine now.

He needs to let go. Aomine has a girlfriend now so he needs to let go of him now. No matter how possessive he feels for discovering that gentle part of him first.

He needs to let go of Aomine.

___

I just hope you're lying next to somebody

Who knows how to love you like me

There must be a good reason that you're gone

 

Sometimes, Taiga lays on bed and thinks, is she treating him right? Has she realised that when he insists that he’s alright and not in pain, he’s is definitely hiding a sprain and will limp home and ice it, teeth biting lips at the agony when he goes to play at a tournament the next day and tries to end the game in a one man show so that he could go home as quickly as possible? Or when the rare times he opens up, they are the times when he feels the most vulnerable and that the listener should drop everything else and read between the lines to get what he was trying to say? Or even the obvious things like how he likes his ketchup more on fries than his burger or what his favourite basketball shoes were?

Is she treating him right?

Taiga squeezes his eyes as his heart clenches inside. _Oh I hope she does._

___

Don't wanna know

If you're looking into her eyes

If she's holdin' onto you so tight

The way I did before

 

He barely participates in their group chats now, mutes them for an year and watches Aomine’s name go down on his message list. He has closed his eyes to everything on Aomine on social media so that he doesn’t have to see his face online either.

How long has it been since he last heard his voice? Touched that warm skin? Seeing that boyish smile directed toward him?

Eight months.

He still doesn’t see an end to this pain.

___

Oh, it's such a shame

That we don't talk anymore

 

It’s been more than one year. He's better now, functions better. Eats more but he still can't sleep and he still feels that heartrending breathlessness when he falls into a dark mood. He still doesn’t talk to Aomine and he still ignores his online statuses and photos and he still has an irrational desire to meet him but he doesn’t. He is far away from healing from a broken heart but that doesn’t mean he cannot take up what he fell in love with first.

 _I can do this_ , Taiga thinks, looking at the basketball in his hands. He's waiting at the nearby court, ready to make a new memory, to rewrite over the ones he spent with Aomine. Kuroko and Tatsuya will be here in a few and he feels a slow rush of excitement. He's glad his love for basketball wasn't tainted with his heartbreak.

His phone pings and he takes it out from his pocket to see Akashi had texted him.

_Dinner tonight?_

_-Received 11.23 am._

Taiga snorts. Akashi might think he isn’t oblivious but to Taiga (and Kuroko) he is being plain as day. It’s cute though.

_Sure_

_-Sent 11.24 am._

He places his phone in the side pocket of his bag and places it on the plastic bench at the side of the court. Kuroko calls his name as he enters the court and Taiga smiles.

He can do this.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow such an original title im sorry orz.


End file.
